


Real

by TheTruthBetweenRPF (TheTruthBetween)



Category: Broadway RPF, Wicked RPF
Genre: F/F, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-05
Updated: 2012-05-05
Packaged: 2017-11-04 20:56:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/398123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTruthBetween/pseuds/TheTruthBetweenRPF
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eden ponders two relationships and the differences between them.</p><p>Request by avalon_22 in LiveJournal: "who was eden at disneyland" and "who was eden when she was doing wicked"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Real

You know, I was never really conscious of changing. I see the people around me changing, but for some reason, I always think that I stay the same.

At least until I actually look back.

Take, for example, my relationships.

My first serious girlfriend was when I was twenty, at Disneyland. She wasn't a performer -- she worked in the nurse's office.

I can't help but be amazed at how free I was back then, but at the same time, how constrained. I gave everything to her. She had my heart, my body... I'm pretty sure she had my soul for a while, too. But I was so afraid of being found out.

You know, I was pretty much still a kid, and I lived with my parents and they... don't understand stuff like that. When I finally told them that I like women, I got a freaking sermon from my dad.

Anyway. I was so afraid that they would find out, or that my uncle or cousins -- I should point out that they worked there, too -- would see us together or something, that I refused to see her at work. Instead, we got together after, hung out at her apartment. She had a roommate, but he was a gay as they come, and totally didn't mind us snuggling on the couch.

I spent every minute that I could with her, totally gave myself over to the relationship.

And, as you can imagine, I got burned. Badly.

 _Apparently_ she wasn't a lesbian, it was just a phase or an experiment or whatever. Either way, she spent a month cheating on me with a guy in her calculus class before she finally told me to hit the road.

Maybe that's why I was so cautious about jumping into something with Kristin.

Then again, given the flaming end to her relationship with Idina, she was pretty cautious about me, too.

I don't even know how it started. I mean, frankly, me and Kristin aren't the most logical couple behind the scenes at the Gershwin. If anything, it would be me and Michelle. God knows she's awfully obsessed with me for being straight.

Anyway. Both Kristin and I were more cautious, moving more slowly than I did with Naomi. But at the same time, it's deeper. Naomi and I were superficial, I can see that now. When we were together, I thought we were soul mates and shared everything that two people could share. But Kristin and I, we know how to connect when we're sitting on the couch, listening to music. Not even speaking, eyes closed and not looking at each other, and there's that connection, that spark between us.

I suppose that's how I'd changed. I've matured and grown, not just my relationships, but myself. I can see the differences between real and superficial.

Or maybe **I** was superficial back then, and I'm real now. I don't know. And really? I don't care.

***

"What are you smiling about?"

Eden opened her eyes at the soft voice, looking into deep ocean green eyes. "Just thinking."

"About?" Kristin prompted, smiling.

"About life. How I've matured and grown, and how much I love you."

"Mm," Kristin hummed, leaning forward and pressing her lips to Eden's. "I love you, too."


End file.
